I have been married to Kaye for twenty years and have watched her as a mother for nearly ten. She is incredible at both. I am extremely blessed, and everyone who knows us knows it. I often hear comments like, “Bro, you outkicked your punt coverage,” or “Eric, you know how lucky you are, right?” God was very gracious to me when He, in His unmerited favor toward me, placed on her heart to say “yes,” when I pursued.
Watching Kaye parent has challenged me in both my faith and my leadership. Here are three leadership reminders from watching Kaye lead our girls.
1. Set the pace.
We want our girls to love the Lord and to be grateful for His grace. Kaye doesn’t just instruct with the faith; she impresses it on the hearts of our girls. They see her reading her Bible when they come down the stairs. They see her ask for forgiveness. They see her love friends and neighbors.
Ministry leaders, ministry vision and direction are more caught than taught. If our lives don’t match our words, our ministry vision statements are deemed irrelevant. If our lives don’t match the values hanging on our walls, our lives invalidate the values. If our behavior does not match our leadership direction, our behavior is what is listened to.
2. Go for the heart.
Kaye continually pursues our girls. From playing with them to planning special outings with them, Kaye goes for their hearts. She is passionate for her family, and it shows.
Great leaders don’t merely dispense information to those they lead. They go for the heart. Great leaders are passionate for those they lead; they don’t merely go through the motions.
3. Don’t treat each person the same.
Our girls are very different. One is more cautious, while there is not a trace of caution in the other. One thinks before speaking, while one speaks to think. One prefers a few loyal friends, while the other assumes a crowded restaurant is her party. Kaye has learned each of our girls and adapts her approach accordingly.
Because leaders are servants, leaders must not treat each person the same. Instead, they must learn how each person on the team is different and respond accordingly.