5 Reasons Why You Should Get Away with Your Spouse Every Year

This November Kaye and I will celebrate our 23rd wedding anniversary. We took our honeymoon to a family friend’s condo in Missouri (we were college students with very little money). The next year we went to Cancun, which was our wedding gift from my parents. After those two trips, we decided we would not stop […]

Nicodemus and the Samaritan Woman: Will You Serve Both?

Nicodemus and the Samaritan woman: Will you serve both? If you had to choose, which one do you find easier or more enjoyable to love and serve? We tend to be more passionate about serving some people over others. Even for those of us on staff at a church, those of us with the title […]

The Shanghai Marriage Market, Match.Com, And Our Incompatibility with God

I have never been to the Shanghai marriage market, but every Saturday and Sunday the market runs for five hours, rain or shine. Parents and grandparents who want their kids or grandkids to get married post portfolios and peruse others, hoping for a match. Descriptions of each person are posted on walls or umbrellas. If […]

Five Necessary Character Traits for Handling Criticism Well

Elbert Hubbard quipped, “To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Because leaders cannot afford to do nothing or say nothing, being criticized comes with the territory of being a leader. In leadership, affirmation today does not mean affirmation tomorrow. In many ways leaders face the same volatility as coaches who can, within […]

Three Types of Friends Every Leader Needs

Some have lamented that leadership is lonely. The unique pressure and responsibilities that leaders face can push some leaders to isolation. But wise leaders reject the temptation to remove themselves from others. Great leaders know they need others for both encouragement and wisdom. Here are three types of friends that every leader needs: 1. A […]

Three Ways We Can Better Love Those We Lead

Researchers and leadership authors continually contend that the best leaders are those who love and care for those they lead. Examples include: In his seminal book Servant Leadership, published over forty years ago, Robert Greenleaf coined the term “servant leader” and painted a picture that the most effective leaders love and serve those they lead. […]

Five Ways Leaders Lose Credibility

In The Leadership Challenge, researchers and authors, Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner claim that the most important leadership characteristic is credibility. Based on extensive research over two decades, they write that “more than anything, we want leaders who are credible. People must be able to believe in their leaders.” Without credibility a “leader” won’t be […]

Three Ways Your Spouse Can Make You a Better Leader

I don’t claim to be a great leader, but I am much better than I would be because of my wife, Kaye. God has used her and continually uses her to make me better. The relationships the Lord gives us are given to us, in part, for our own sanctification. God puts people around us […]

Thick Skin, Tender Hearts, and Four Types of Leaders

Leaders are often applauded for and encouraged to develop “thick skin.” A leader with “thick skin” is not crushed by criticism nor destroyed by disappointing results. The pain, the criticism, the challenges seem to “roll-off” the leader’s skin without seeping into the leader’s heart. While a leader with “thin skin” is often paralyzed by challenges […]

Four Ways Leaders Should Rebuke and Challenge

A leader recently asked me for counsel on “how to confront someone.” My response was, “How do you like to be confronted?” I answered the question with a question because all of us, at some point, need confrontation. If we believe that sanctification is a lifelong process and that the Lord uses community to mature […]