What do you think makes the biggest impact on a child’s spiritual development? Dinner as a family? Parents who don’t miss special events? Having church friends? Being at a good Christian school? Being at a church with a vibrant kids and student ministry?
While surely those are all good things and things I want for may daughters, none of them showed up in our recent LifeWay Research study on how kids really grow spiritually. We must be careful we don’t spend a lot of time thinking about things that don’t make the biggest impact. The study analyzed 2,000 Protestant adults who finished their parenting journey with one or more kids now between 18-30. The study looked at faith characteristics of those kids now, all grown up, and looked at the parenting practices and habits of the children as they were growing up. Jana Magruder masterfully unpacks the research in her new book, “Nothing Less: Engaging Kids in a Lifetime of Faith,” which I highly recommend to parents and leaders in kids/student ministry.
So what did show up in the research as the biggest influencers? Jana spends time in the book unpacking the 10 biggest influencers of spiritual health, but I am going to briefly offer the top five. If you care for your kid’s spiritual journey, this research is gold:
1. The child regularly reads his/her Bible while growing up.
This, not surprising to me because research on adults has concluded the same thing, was the largest impact on a child’s faith journey. Quite simply, kids who regularly read the Bible are much more likely to walk with Christ as adults than those who do not. More important than a family meal, more important than the school the child attends, more important than the church or the kids ministry or the youth group, is helping children fall in love with reading their Bibles. If there is one thing, and only one thing, we as parents and ministry leaders should do, it is this: Live Bible reading in front for our kids. Show our kids how to read the text. Read the Bible with them. The research says, “Do whatever it takes.”
2. The child regularly spends time in prayer growing up.
Similar to reading the Scripture, a child who looks to Jesus in the Word and in prayer is going to be continually changed and set on a trajectory for a lifetime of faith.
3. The child regularly served in church while growing up.
The research also revealed that the family attending church is very significant for the child. From a research vantage point, each drop in frequency of a family’s church attendance correlates to a drop in the child’s faith development. Bottom-line: an infrequent, church-attending family is adversely impacting the faith development of their children. So attending church matters. But even more than attending, serving in the church while growing up makes a profound impact on a child/teenager.
4. The child listens primarily to Christian music.
Okay, I did not expect this to be the fourth biggest influence and there will be some haters on this one. Some folks think Christian music is cheesy or creates a bubble or is commercialized. Still others think it is worldly. Do what you want with this point, but the research says that it was the fourth biggest factor on a kid’s spiritual growth. So if you pay attention to the research you may end up singing hymns as a family, loading up a minivan and going to a concert, and being happy when your kid’s room bumps loudly with Christian rap.
5. The child participates in church mission trips and projects.
Serving in the church impacts the development of a child/teenager, but so does serving in the community. Mission trips and mission projects ranked high on the list.
So what do we do with this research? I find it liberating because it reminds us of simple truths we already know. We should work hard to help our kids spend time with Jesus—in His Word, in prayer, and in what they put in their minds. And we should help our kids serve others, in the church and outside the church. Those are the biggest influencers on their spiritual maturation.
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I would have predicted “having parents who live out their Christian faith daily” as number 1, but it didn’t even make top 5. Seems odd to me. I also question the Christian music one. Helpful research but something about the results seems off to me.
Living out the Christian faith is pretty hard to do without regular bible reading. So i think you can easily assume a main part of living out your faith is reading the Bible regularly and applying its principles. Also, music has a HUGE influence on every person listening. If you are a Christian but not mainly listening to Christian music you are doing your faith a disservice. What goes in comes out. The words we hear regularly will affect us. Great article!
You are correct. It seems off to you because it is based in delusion. It’s all fantasy but after the first five books it really wanders off into fantasy land. There you have it. The gut feeling that has been nagging you telling you that something is not quite right. 😀
Very curious about how this research was conducted and validated. How were the 2000 Protestant adults chosen? How was their kids’ faith quantified? How were such habits identified? Please share more so we know how to interpret the apparent results… thank you!
So, basically, it’s a child who practices the 5 purposes of the church (as famously articulated by Rick Warren…and many others in the previous millennia): worship, fellowship, discipleship, ministry, and evangelism. The best news is that when it comes to Christian spiritual formation, there really is nothing new under the sun.
How about the Holy Spirit? Soli Deo gloria? 🙂
This is a very good article. So true. Being a former Children’s Minister, the points you make here are a must read for every parent. I found that many children were in trouble spiritually, and so were their families; the key link was these five points were largely neglected.
Personally, as a mom of four grown children, these points were non-negotiable. It was a must. That didn’t mean our kids didn’t give us trouble, or parenting was a piece of cake. Not at all. To implement these five practices in a family takes sacrifices, hard work, and consistency. Not easy, but the fruit from it is amazing. All four are walking with God today; two are in full-time ministry.
One more comment on the music point. I learned early on that music had a powerful impact on my kid’s learning. It increased their ability to understand difficult concepts; setting scripture to music helped them internalize it permanently. On the other hand, secular music with lyrics that were contrary to the word of God also had their negative effects. We had to point out the difference between what they were learning from the world’s lyrics compared to what they were learning from Christian’ lyrics. Music has an uncanny way of shaping one’s beliefs. I read this quote by Aristotle, in which I wholeheartedly agree with, “When we hear music, our very soul is altered.” Music, depending on the lyrics, can alter our faith toward God or away from Him.
I read once where the father praying and reading the Bible and attending church made the greatest impact on a child, even more than the mother although the mother doing these things also added to impact the childs life.
This article is good. So, basically, it’s a child who practices the 5 purposes of the church. The aim of the School is the Spiritual upliftment of the individual in order to materialize the Plan for our Humanity on this Earth. The School is not about leaving the world, it is about living in the world but not being of the world, not being worldly.